Christmas at Ground Zero
by LilyoftheValley4
Summary: Two years ago Vaughn spent Christmas alone, now it's Sydney's turn.


A/N: I know, I know, another Christmas fic, but I think you all will enjoy it. It's a one shot fic, but doesn't mean you shouldn't review! 

Sydney Bristow looked from her position on the couch up at the tree. Its thick limbs were fragrant with long pine needles that shimmered with the help of the glowing lights. Green and red bulbs decorated the tree and at the top stood a Tasmanian angel, a gift from Weiss. Actually, the tree in itself had been Weiss's suggestion. Sydney hadn't been feeling too much in the Christmas spirit with her inability to contact her friends. 

            _"What are your plans for Christmas, Syd?" Weiss asked curiously._

_            Sydney shrugged. "I was thinking of a nice relaxing bubble bath, and possibly going out to visit Francie's grave."_

_            Weiss winced. "Come on, Syd. They say 'Merry' Christmas for a reason. Why don't you go to Vaughn and Lauren's party? Many people from the office will be there."_

_            "Nah," Sydney said shaking her head. "I don't want to go."_

_            "Come on. Vaughn invited you, he wants you to be there," Weiss encouraged._

_            "It was a pity invitation."_

_            "No it wasn't. You know that he wants you to be there. He's still your friend." _

_            "Still, I think that my idea of Christmas would be a lot less tense."_

_            "Tell you what. I'll go to Vaughn's party for a few hours, and then I'll come hang out at your place and we can watch—"_

_            "You say _It's a Wonderful Life_ and I'll smack you," Sydney said with a grin._

_            "Okay, okay," Weiss laughed. "We'll watch something."_

_            "Sounds good."_

            Sydney rubbed her shoulders as she stepped away from the holiday tree and looked out the window. The sun was going down and the temperature was only in the fifties. _A typical California Christmas_, she sighed, _except it isn't a normal Christmas. _With Francie dead and Will in Witness Protection, she felt more alone than she had been during other Christmas's. Of course her father had expressed his desire in wanting to spend Christmas with his daughter, but a CIA job had pulled him away at the last moment. Weiss's gestures were sweet, but in actuality, she really just wanted to be alone.

            Sydney wanted something to depend on and here Weiss was offering her some, but she seemed set on pushing him away because she couldn't have Vaughn. Weiss was right, she could go to the party and be with her friends and Vaughn on this night, but she feared reality would be too harsh there. The party would be in his new house, his and _Lauren's_ new house, where he and his _wife _would be entertaining guests. Things were hard enough around the office without her trying to live through a whole evening in his new house with his new life. Instead she could stay in her house reminiscing on her past life, and believe that in the end everything would be okay. Here, her house could become her dream world.

            _"Vaughn, the house looks wonderful," Sydney breathed as she looked around the old cabin in France. _

_            "Thanks, I was hoping to surprise you," Vaughn said as he came up behind her wrapping her arms around her waist. Sydney held his hands with her own and turned his head so that she could kiss him on the cheek. Vaughn turned her in his arms instead and took the kiss on the lips. _

_            "Come on," he breathed pulling her away gently. "You have to open your present." Vaughn pulled a small box out from under the tree and put it in Sydney's lap. "Open it."_

_            Sydney shook her head and smiled. "No, you have to open yours first." Sydney pointed to a box wrapped in red with a beautiful silver bow. Vaughn picked it up and shook it cautiously, before undoing the wrapping. When he had removed the paper, he found a brown cardboard box sealed on either side with tape. _

_            "Did you want me to get into this package?" Vaughn joked._

_            "It's more suspenseful, that way, I think." He ripped off the tape and slowly opened the tissue paper to find a silver ornament with an angel on it. The angel was apparently looking down on something with a peaceful expression on its face. The card below it read: For my Guardian Angel. _

_            Vaughn smiled up at Sydney with loving eyes. "Thank you." He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. _

_            "Now open mine," Vaughn said as they pulled apart._

_            Sydney looked eagerly down at the package but opened it with agonizing slowness. Once she had finally removed the wrapping to reveal a box similar in size to the one that Sydney had given him, her expression became confused._

_            "What's this?" she asked holding up a handful of what looked like ash. Vaughn looked down at the contents in horror._

_            "That's not what I bought you." Vaughn grabbed the package and began rifling through its contents trying to find his gift. In the process black ash began decorate the room as it stained his fingers and his clothes. _

_            When the box had been emptied, he had not been able to find Sydney's gift. By that time, Sydney had disappeared into a pile of ash. Vaughn frantically began to search the ground. "Where is it?" He asked searching on his hands and knees. "Where is she?"_

            Vaughn's eyes snapped open as he focused on the angel ornament he was holding in front of the Christmas tree. He fingered the indents in the silver lightly that made up angel's eyes. This was the ornament he had bought for himself during his brief period of insanity. The experience he had had with the ash had been a reoccurring episode during that time as his thoughts brought back the memories of Sydney's burned house and supposedly burnt body. 

            "Michael, are you done decorating the tree?" Lauren called from the kitchen. "Our guests should be arriving soon and I need you to put the appetizers on the table."

            Vaughn carefully placed the ornament on the tree and with one last glance, headed to the kitchen to help his wife. Lauren handed him a plate of shrimp cocktails and a plate of crackers and cheese and shooed him into the living room where they had set up a temporary table that was to hold appetizers as well as wine and champagne. Before Vaughn could reenter the kitchen and retrieve the rest of the plates the doorbell rang. 

            "I'll get it!" Vaughn shouted to his wife, who was still frantically trying to set out the rest of the plates.

            "Weiss!" Vaughn greeted. "Come on in, man."

            "Hey, brought a thirst quencher," he said handing Vaughn some cheap wine as he stepped inside.

            "What did you bring this stuff for?" Vaughn asked.

            Weiss faked a look of hurt. "You don't like it? It's my favorite. Syd didn't think it was that bad either."

            "Speaking of Syd, is she coming?" 

            "No, she's got plans," Weiss answered dismissively. Vaughn was about to ask Eric what he meant but before he could guests started streaming in and Vaughn had to take up the position of host. The party was in full swing by seven and dinner was served promptly at seven thirty, but Vaughn couldn't help but feel distracted by what Eric had said. 

            What exactly were Sydney's plans? Was she having her own party that he wasn't invited to? Was she out having a date with some guy? Was she having dinner with her father? Vaughn argued with himself trying to figure out why he cared so much, but the fact that Sydney didn't come because she had something else going on was driving him crazy. He couldn't even follow the dinner conversation. So he was quite surprised to see his friend get up and leave after desert and coffee.

            Vaughn followed him to the front door. "Where you off to?" 

            "Jeez, you were just as dazed in there as you looked," he said as he pulled on his coat. "I'm meeting up with Syd. I told her I'd hang out with her for awhile." 

            "I thought you said she had plans," Vaughn said confused. 

            "I did, she has plans with me." Weiss paused when he saw Vaughn's face. "Look man, don't think she's avoiding you are anything, but you've got to understand how she feels. She's alone on Christmas. Things would be awkward here and you know it."

            Vaughn looked down at his shoes. "Yeah, I know. But I wish it were different. I wish I could help her move on."

            "You already know how long it took you to get over her, and you knew, well thought, she was dead. She knows you've moved on, but it'll take her time as well. Night, Mike."

            "Goodnight, Weiss," Vaughn said as he closed the front door with regret. 

            _"Goodnight, Sydney," Vaughn whispered into her ear._

_            "It's not goodnight, I'll see you in an hour," Sydney argued._

_            "It's a goodnight until I say hello again. How about that?" _

_            "That'll work." Sydney gave him a lingering kiss on the lips before opening the car door and waving goodbye. That had been the last time he had seen her alive. He got the call while he was at home packing his suitcase._

_            "Hello?" Vaughn answered._

_            "Agent Vaughn?" Kendall asked._

_            "Yes."_

_            "We need you to come in."_

_            "I'm on my vacation."_

_            "This is an emergency."_

_            "Call Weiss," Vaughn said dismissively._

_            "It's Agent Bristow." Vaughn froze._

_            "Jack?" Vaughn asked hesitantly._

_            "Come to Sydney's house immediately." Vaughn wanted to ask him what he meant but he hung up before he could respond. Vaughn left his suitcase forgotten on his bed and jumped into his car. What could possibly have happened to her in the short time he had left her? Whatever it was, he wasn't waiting to find out. He drove to her house as fast he could, but he was only a few miles away when he saw the smoke; suffocating smoke billowing towards the sky. Vaughn tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he rounded the corner. _

_            There all his worst fears were confirmed. Ambulances, fire trucks, and CIA vehicles crowded the street as they blocked off traffic and stood in front of one house, Sydney's house. The flames had been extinguished but the smoke still hung above the house or what was left of it. The roof surrounding the middle of the house had collapsed slightly and all the windows were stained black from the smoke. It was hardly the cheery home he remembered. _

_            Vaughn quickened his step towards the house. Now he understood the urgency that had been in Kendall's voice. He flashed his badge to an agent standing by the taped off area and went inside. Looking at the outside left so many questions unanswered. Where was Sydney? Did she make it out okay? Those were the questions that first needed answering, but as he was about to enter the house, a stretcher was exiting. A sheet covered the occupant. Before he even knew what he was doing, he asked the medics who was under the sheet._

_            "We're not sure. The body is burned too badly to tell," the medic answered. Those words rung in his head. No, it can't be her. She always makes it out okay. Vaughn's anxiety was starting to reach breaking point. He needed answers. He needed to find Sydney. _

_            The house was even worse on the inside. In rooms that weren't destroyed completely by fire, there were obvious signs of a struggle. Forks, knives, and spoons lay across the floor along with a drawer that had obviously held them. Plates and windows were broken, along with Sydney's glass table that had rested in the living room. Tints of red rested on those pieces of broken glass and shattered plates, reassuring him of nothing. _

_            "Agent Vaughn." Vaughn looked up. It was Kendall._

_            "Where is she? Where's Sydney?" Vaughn demanded._

_            Kendall dragged Vaughn and his unanswered question into the bedroom. This room seemed to have contained the worst part of the fire. Everything was black in this room. Even a shattered mirror on the other side of the room was blacked by smoke and fire. The shattered glass on the inside of the French doors seemed to show that the door had been broken before the beautifully stained wood was turned into ash. _

_            "We found Will Tippin on the lawn when we arrived. He's suffered severe internal damage because of a stab wound, and we're not sure he's going to make it," Kendall stated._

_            "And Sydney?" Vaughn asked worriedly because of how Kendall was obviously avoiding the question._

_            "Agent Bristow is missing. We found a body that was lying near the French doors but it was burnt too badly to be identified." Vaughn felt himself start to shake. Kendall quietly left the room, but Vaughn didn't notice. He felt himself lean against the wall for support as he slid to the floor. Slowly, tears began to drip from his face. Tears of fear, disbelief, and a desperate hope that Sydney was okay dampened his shirt. He blamed himself. He should have stayed with her. He should have at least walked her inside. He placed his head in his hands. Sydney, I'm so sorry._

Vaughn headed back to the dinner table as he tried to shake that memory out of his head. It had been just a few days after Sydney's disappearance that they had identified the body and Sydney had been declared dead. This realization led to Vaughn's escape to France and the beginning of his period of insanity. During that time it had been his first Christmas alone. Now Sydney was experiencing the same thing and he couldn't help the guilt that settled in his stomach.

            Lauren gave him a questioning glance as he sat down, but Vaughn ignored it. The conversation had floated to normal topics such as sports and local news, but Vaughn still wasn't able to contribute. In fact, Lauren looked ready to smack him we he got up to answer the phone.

            "Hello?" Vaughn inquired.

            "Mike, Sydney's not here," Weiss said, sounding a little frantic.

            "What do you mean?" Vaughn asked as he gripped the phone.

            "I got home just a few minutes ago and when I went over no one answered. So I let myself in and she's not here. Her car is still in the driveway."

            "Are you sure that you're supposed to get together tonight?"

            "Of course, I am! I told her I'd be over after I stayed at your party for a little while." 

            "I'm coming over," Vaughn said as he hung up the phone on Eric.

            By this time the guests were migrating into the living room and as they did so, Vaughn pulled his wife aside.

            "I have to go," Vaughn told her.

            "What? Michael it's Christmas," Lauren objected. 

            "I know, but Weiss ran out of gas on the way home and he needs a ride," Vaughn lied but not sure why he did so. 

            "Oh," Lauren said sounding slightly surprised. "Well then don't worry about things here. Just try to get back as soon as you can. Drive safely." Lauren gave him a quick kiss and then headed back into the living room.

            Vaughn watched his wife for a moment, wondering why he had lied. _You knew Lauren wouldn't be okay with you leaving to help Sydney_, his thoughts reminded him. Vaughn shook away his feelings and quickly made his way to the door and to his car. He drove intending to go to Sydney's, but instead, he found his mind wandering to a particular night at the pier.

            _"You just threw your beeper into the Pacific," Vaughn breathed as he looked down at the ripples cascading circles away from the fallen object._

_            "I'm tired of this life. I'm tired of the lies. I'm tired of that stupid beeper telling me what to do," Sydney cried as she looked out across the water._

_            "And you have every reason to be all those things," Vaughn reassured. "But there is still truth in your life. Your father and I, we'll be your truth."_

_            "Thank you," she said leaning against him slightly. _

She felt his presence before he even spoke. "Syd, what are you doing out here?" Sydney let the wind whip around her and blow her air uncontrollably around her face as she remembered that time on the pier quite vividly. They were forbidden to be together, not dissimilar to their situation now. He was married and was otherwise dubbed untouchable, just as she was to him. Back then, she had been untouchable due to SD-6 and CIA protocol, but somehow they became united despite the circumstances. 

"I just needed to get out of the house for a little while," Sydney stated distantly. "What are you doing here?" she asked finally turning towards him.

            "Weiss called, he was worried, and frankly so am I. Are you okay?"

            Sydney looked back out across the water. "You know how I am." Vaughn nodded, he did. 

            "I'm sorry, Syd," he said placing his hand on her shoulder. "You're the last person in the world who deserves this."

            "I'm tired of this. I just want the truth." She looked up into his eyes, wondering if he would repeat what he had said years ago when she had needed his comfort.

            "I will always be your truth," Vaughn said taking her into a hug. "Always."

            "Thank you."

            _A few hours later, both were lying in their separate beds wondering how their talk at the pier had changed their lives. For the time being both of them knew nothing was going to change, but the future showed hope. They had obstacles to overcome and hopefully they would conquer them successfully. _

"Hope is the future," Vaughn murmured as he settled in next to his wife.

            "Hope is the future," Sydney repeated as she too closed her eyes in her bed not even fifteen miles away. 


End file.
